Sunday, March 8, 2009

New Post

I have not posted since the beginning of January, do I have things to say? So many things, so little drive to actually sit down and write. I wounder what is the point, why put my feelings into words, what does it really matter?
Right now as I sit here I wonder if this is a new beginning post to kick off more entrees on the blog or is it a farewell post to let everyone know what has been going on and say my good byes?

Anyone have any ideas?

My life in a nut shell - January to present

I have completed my Newbody and BodyAttack training, I have sent in my video on both and passed both. I am now a certified instructor with Goodlife fitness.
On Dec 27- Jan 1 we were in Las Vegas with Evan's family for Christmas. It was busy, crazy, relaxing and wonderful all at the same time. It was great to spend time with family catching up and letting our children play together.

On January 4th Evan and I found out that we were expecting our third baby, due on September 15 2009. We were excited and nervous at the same time. I was approved by my doctor to keep teaching right up until my due date. I had a very rough go in the first couple weeks, very nauseous and teaching was interesting. I was exhausted all the time and huffing and puffing by the end of the warm up in my classes. Lets just say the members knew what was going on very soon. I think it was out by the time I hit 8 weeks, I was also starting to show a little bit. Slightly bummed out for showing so soon but my doctor said that it was because I was lean and have lower body fat. Also all women show at different times.

On the last Monday in February I was teaching a class with another instructor and had crazy energy, she looked at me and all she had to say was welcome back. I was 12 weeks at that point and thought that I was seeing the end of my morning sickness and intense fatigue. Sunday March 1 I started bleeding really badly and went to the ER, after a long wait and an even longer wait in a room every inch of me was checked. I was told my hormone levels were great and all looked okay, I was sent home after 10 hours and told to come back early Monday morning for an ultra sound.
On Monday morning Evan and I said good bye to our little baby at 12 weeks 5 days.
I am not going to get into feelings or emotions an I am also not going to get into what we have been through this week. I would never want to do it again and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. No one should have to take medication to put there bodies into labor at 13 weeks and deliver your baby. NO ONE.
I don't have a lot to say on losing our baby, I know that I will one day just not right now.

Hopefully this will not be my last post but no promises, we will have to see what happens.

18 comments:

Stacey said...

That is so so sad. I can't believe that you had to actually be induced and deliver your baby. Was a D&C not an option? I'm so so sorry. I agree, no one should ever have to go through this.

RLE said...

I am so sorry Mel. I cannot imagine having to go through that. No one should have to go through that pain. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Rayna

Tara said...

oh Mel I'm so sorry to hear that

LeRoy said...

Mel, I can't imagine what you're going through, and have gone through in the last couple weeks. I hope you are able to lean on God's strength to help you through this all. I'm so sorry.

TheButterfly2 said...

Hey Mel, I really hope this is not your last post. I miss you and wish we could catch up more often. I often check your blog wanting to hear more about what's going on in your lives since we don't seem to chat much otherwise. But at the same time, I can totally understand that things may seem so overwhelming right now that the idea of expressing yourself in any form just seems to exhausting. I hope you won't give up trying to talk to people though.
I am so sorry for your pain, both emotionally and phsyically, that you have been experiencing in the last week. I know that saying sorry doesn't really cut it and it doesn't make anything better but I do want you to know that we care SO much and love you guys like crazy. We are praying for you and thinking of you often. There are things I could say but I feel that most of them would sound like platitudes. Even if they are true...they don't erase your loss or suddenly make things seem ok, and they're truth will probably take a long time to feel. So rather than say any of that I just want to send you a huge hug. I love you!

Amanda said...

((Hugs)) I am so sorry for your loss. I *know* it hurts. I really do know (my baby girl Allison was born dead at 18 wks gestation six yrs ago). The pain is overwhelming, almost suffocating at times.

No words, because I know none help, but know that someone else out there is thinking of you.

p.s. Keep blogging, it will help. I kept a journal and it was theraputic.

Anonymous said...

Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!

Anonymous said...

[size=72][color=red][url=http://www.go4you.net/go.php?sid=24]ENTER ON SOFTWARE PORTAL[/url][/color][/size]

[size=46][color=red][url=http://www.go4you.net/go.php?sid=24]DOWNLOAD SOFT![/url][/color][/size]

[img]http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/4762671/2/istockphoto_4762671-software-box.jpg[/img]

[size=46][color=red][url=http://www.go4you.net/go.php?sid=24]OEM SOFTWARE[/url][/color][/size]

[size=72][color=red][url=http://www.go4you.net/go.php?sid=24]DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE[/url][/color][/size]

[size=72][b]Load chictalk soft programm to Mac OS[/b][/size]
[size=72][b]Buy chictalk soft programms to PC[/b][/size]
[size=72][b]Buy chictalk software programms on PC[/b][/size]

http://www.google.com/

Anonymous said...

Heidaybleaple [url=http://wiki.openqa.org/display/~buy-cipro-without-no-prescription-online]Buy Cipro without no prescription online[/url] [url=http://wiki.openqa.org/display/~buy-buspar-without-no-prescription-online]Buy Buspar without no prescription online[/url]

Anonymous said...

lokas artistic effects crack
video joiner crack
spyware doctor updates crack
magic ball2 crack
keystroke converter keygen




super dvd creator crack code
divx vod crack
popcap alchemy deluxe crack
visio 2003 crack serial
ohm force warez
bulletproofftp crack
selteco menu maker crack
dvd fab express crack
dj download free keygen virtual
window washer crack serial
swf studio keygen
filemonkey crack
adobe premiere pro 1.5 crack serial
game obscure crack
trillian pro 3 crack
x plane 8 crack mac
adobe audition crack
all seeing eye keygen 2.3.6

Anonymous said...

Blithesome New Year[url=http://juvebalo.tripod.com/map.html] one! :)

Anonymous said...

cheap 37 5 phentermine online prescription for phentermine - phentermine qualitest

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.microgiving.com/profile/clarithromycin]generic biaxin online
[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://sustiva-efavirenz.webs.com/]purchase Efavirenz 600 mg
[/url] purchase Generic Sustiva 600 mg online
purchase Generic Sustiva 500 mg online
buy Efavirenz 600 mg

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.microgiving.com/profile/ribavirin]copegus buy online
[/url] virazole
purchase copegus online
order ribavirin

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.microgiving.com/profile/ribavirin]virazole 200 mg
[/url] ribavirin 100 mg
ribavirin 100 mg online
purchase ribavirin online

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.microgiving.com/profile/ribavirin]ribavirin 200 mg
[/url] buy copegus
ribavirin 100 mg online
rebetol 100 mg

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.microgiving.com/profile/ribavirin]order copegus online
[/url] ribavirin buy
ribavirin 200 mg
virazole 200 mg online