Season

Well, I think this season is done in my life. Time to retire the Schellenberg family blog, yup you heard it right folks. It is not that I don't have anything to say I just don't have the time to sit down and write it. Between working mornings and 3 evenings a week plus Saturdays, taking care of the kiddos and the house blogging has become so low on my priority list that it is sad.

hopefully in the future I will start one again and actually keep it up to date a little better then this last one.

On a side note, life is definitely looking brighter and more promising. Evan and I had some really big struggles after he returned from San Fransisco but it made us deal with them head on and things are looking a lot better.

I will still be popping in our your blogs from time to time.

thanks everyone for the comments and support over the last three years.

much to say

I keep forming a post in my head but more stuff (exciting stuff) keeps popping up so I put the post on hold for the next couple days.

For now we are enjoying the last couple days of summer before Emmanuel starts grade one on Thursday. Man I feel like my kids are growing in leaps and bounds lately. I am excited for the changes in them but it slightly saddens me at the same time.
We have spent a couple more days at the water park with friends and have also hit the beach twice in the last week, we love the outdoors and sun in this house! :)

In my big update post I will have pictures from Micah's birthday and from our last couple days of summer.

Now off to meet a friend and school shopping this afternoon.

Little Girl

By the way my little girl turns 4 tomorrow. I don't have babies anymore.

** SOB **

Unsure

Do you ever want to post about life but feel like the time in your life in not that upbeat? I have been wanting to post for a couple weeks already, my first "excuse" is that my work is all consuming sometimes, Evan has been gone for 12 days ( got home last night) and I just don't have great things to say.
I feel like I am in a season that life keeps throwing crap my way, I have been standing tall and catching everything until last night. Now I feel like I am falling apart, my heart is broken.

Evan got home from San Fransisco last night at 9:00 p.m, I was excited until I picked him up we barely got a hello out and we were fighting. Long story short, I looked at him last night and realized that I barely know the man I love. It is heart breaking to realize that I was happier then I have been in a long time when he was gone, the kids drove me crazy and I was stressed but happy. I think this trip just brought to the surface the emotions and thought we both felt but didn't verbalize, this isn't a new problem just a new realization. We have been struggling since we lost our baby in March, we are in such different places in life right now and with out personal spiritual journeys we just don't know how to connect.

There is so much more to this story and so much that has added up to it and I feeling like I am drowning, every time I catch a breath of fresh air something comes up and I am down again. I am so not used to this, I am a strong person who hates being weak.

Okay that is my rant for right now, you want to hear about some good stuff?

I had an incredible time with my kids while Evan was gone, I told evan that is he gets to go away I take on a "holiday" attitdue with the kids for the time he is gone. I still had to go to work so that added so structure to my days but we just let loose. I spent 4 days at the spray park with my kids, packed food, sunscreen and toys and we didn't even look at the time we just played. It is so nice to really let loose sometimes.

Micah with her Monkey

Computer is not letting up upload more images, I will need to do them a different time.

I also found out this week that I passed my BodyStep video, It was a really hard discipline to train in a stretched me really far but I passed and now I will put it behind me. I don't enjoy the program enough to teach it a lot so I will stick to subbing for now.

Okay back to my week, in throwing out our schedule I think I gained 5 pounds at least and I was teaching at least twice a day. We ate Ice cream for supper, Chocolate anytime of the day, McDonalds ( only once, I can't stomach more)and so much other junk.
We also spent an evening with one of my good friends and her kids, I think we got home at 12:15 that night, so worth every moment they stayed up past their bedtime.

Anyway, small glimpse into my life, hopefully I will post soon with more pictures.

It is about time

I have so much to say but really little time to write and my head is completely spinning.

As a fitness instructor for Goodlife we are required to learn, memorize and teach new releases every 3 months. New releases are new Choreography that we get from head office to show our classes. Sounds easy right? Not exactly, while we are learning our new stuff for release week we are required to still teach our regular classes, prep for those classes, attend team practices and be ready to release.
When we have our release week, you have a couple instructors teaching each class to make it really special. I normally teach 10 times a week ( from Tuesday-Saturday, I have Monday and Sunday off), this week I only have Sunday off and I will be teaching/releasing a total of 17 classes.

I am hoping to get back into blogging really soon, this is just not the week to do it. I have so many topic I want to talk about, so much updating but I am thinking it will have to wait.

hopefully there are still some people out there.

I am still here and still alive.
Nothing really new to report or talk about, I am happy with my life being on the boring side right now.
I am leaving my family this afternoon for the next 2 days to head to Toronto for Step training this weekend. I am going to miss my family but I am looking forward to learning something new and occupying my thoughts and mind for the next little while.

Hopefully I will have the energy and drive to post again after I return, no one hole their breath. I am returning right before our release weeks at Goodlife and will be running full swing. Oh to torture the body, wouldn't want my job any different.

I have decided that I will not stop blogging. I don't want to leave my blog on the depressing note down swing that it has been on lately.
I have no news to share, no feelings to talk about, and nothing in general to share.

I am just trying to live life one day at a time.
I will be back when I have something upbeat and interesting to say.

update

Yesterday morning I needed to go in for an ultrasound because my doctor didn't think that my uterus was totally cleared out. I got a call from my doctor's office yesterday afternoon to find out that not everything is gone but is right at the edge of my uterus and looks like it will makes it's way out really soon. As for right now I don not need a D&C ( * insert happy dance, or as happy as I get), I am supposed to wait it out for a couple more weeks to see what happens.

Thank you for every one's thoughts, everyday is hard, everyday presents new challenges all I can do is keep breathing.

New Post

I have not posted since the beginning of January, do I have things to say? So many things, so little drive to actually sit down and write. I wounder what is the point, why put my feelings into words, what does it really matter?
Right now as I sit here I wonder if this is a new beginning post to kick off more entrees on the blog or is it a farewell post to let everyone know what has been going on and say my good byes?

Anyone have any ideas?

My life in a nut shell - January to present

I have completed my Newbody and BodyAttack training, I have sent in my video on both and passed both. I am now a certified instructor with Goodlife fitness.
On Dec 27- Jan 1 we were in Las Vegas with Evan's family for Christmas. It was busy, crazy, relaxing and wonderful all at the same time. It was great to spend time with family catching up and letting our children play together.

On January 4th Evan and I found out that we were expecting our third baby, due on September 15 2009. We were excited and nervous at the same time. I was approved by my doctor to keep teaching right up until my due date. I had a very rough go in the first couple weeks, very nauseous and teaching was interesting. I was exhausted all the time and huffing and puffing by the end of the warm up in my classes. Lets just say the members knew what was going on very soon. I think it was out by the time I hit 8 weeks, I was also starting to show a little bit. Slightly bummed out for showing so soon but my doctor said that it was because I was lean and have lower body fat. Also all women show at different times.

On the last Monday in February I was teaching a class with another instructor and had crazy energy, she looked at me and all she had to say was welcome back. I was 12 weeks at that point and thought that I was seeing the end of my morning sickness and intense fatigue. Sunday March 1 I started bleeding really badly and went to the ER, after a long wait and an even longer wait in a room every inch of me was checked. I was told my hormone levels were great and all looked okay, I was sent home after 10 hours and told to come back early Monday morning for an ultra sound.
On Monday morning Evan and I said good bye to our little baby at 12 weeks 5 days.
I am not going to get into feelings or emotions an I am also not going to get into what we have been through this week. I would never want to do it again and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. No one should have to take medication to put there bodies into labor at 13 weeks and deliver your baby. NO ONE.
I don't have a lot to say on losing our baby, I know that I will one day just not right now.

Hopefully this will not be my last post but no promises, we will have to see what happens.

things to say

I really do have a lot of stuff to say, from my work to new disciplines I am studying, things we did over Christmas, our trip to Las Vegas and many other things. Biggest problem I have little to no time to blog and when I do have time I want to sit on my rear end and watch t.v.

I don't know if anyone is reading but I will come back.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas and a happy new year.